Teenagers & other animals!

First off, sod the other animals. This is about teenagers, well one in particular and my experiences in step-fatherhood so far. Words to describe it in the 7 short years I've been a step-dad? Hmmm, how about I just go through the vastly varied feelings and emotions I've experienced, sometimes in only the space of 24 hours....

Positives

Love, pride, joy, happiness, amusement, elation...

Negatives

Anger, worry, disgust, despair, disappointment...

...and those are just the ones that come to mind right now. It's emotionally (and financially) exhausting being a parent but it's something I chose to be part of when I met that lovely independent single mum Clare and her funny 7 year old boy Jake, and although the not-so little monster (now 14) winds us up to the absolute max half the time we wouldn't be without him.....would we Clare.....Clare? 😳

There he is trying his best to look cool. Daft chuff! Yup there's the cause of most of my moods both good and bad. He's a good kid really, typical teenage habits. You know, unable to tidy his room unless threatened by world war 3,4 & 5, owner of a horizontal wardrobe, forgets to flush the toilet, bites his nails after scratching his arse, bends the truth more than slightly when he feels the need... I could go on but I'd end up demonising the little git and that wouldn't really be accurate. He's FAR worse than that. I'm kidding. 😉👍

To be fair to Jakey he's a good'un and we've been really lucky he's turning out like he is. Some kids choose to make life so difficult when their parent finds a new partner. Jake could've chosen to make our lives hell when Clare & I got together but he and I hit it off well together from the start. Over the years as we've gotten more comfortable around each other we've just slipped into the father/son role. I think sometimes he forgets his role and bossy-arse tries his luck but I just put it down to hormones and learning social skills. I'd rather he make those mistakes with me and his mum than at school or in a real social situation where the wrong reaction could land him in trouble.

To his credit and ours he seems to do ok. He's popular within his own circle of friends and his interest in music and drama has really propelled him into the spotlight at school lately. He played the lead character Corey Palmer in the school performance of Back To The 80s recently and also performed with his band Devonshire Green in a couple of the school music shows. So proud!

Over the years he's tried a few things, his love of football has always been very high on his list and he played for a couple of the local teams in Sunday League but never really went as far as he wanted to. He won't admit it but I think deep down he knew he wasn't destined to be a footballer. 

When he took an interest in guitar we figured it might be another fad thing but we bought him a half decent electric and a 2nd hand acoustic to be going along with. You've got to encourage an interest haven't you. He tinkered about with it for a while and seemed to go back & forth with it for a few weeks but we weren't sure. Then after a few basic lessons at primary school he seemed to take to it a little better. Since going to secondary school and having access to their music facilities after hours he's improved so much and his music & drama teachers are thrilled, as are we. 

Who knows we may eventually see him on a big stage somewhere. Just as long as he doesn't end up in the 'big house' we'll be happy if he's happy. There's a few years to go yet. He's another 2 years off finishing secondary, then there's a few years of college and from there we'll try to guide him as much as he'll allow and then see what choices he makes. Jake always knows best, they all do at that age. I wish I knew as much now as he thinks he knows at 14 but at 37 I'm not cool and just 'old'. Cheers mate!

Sheffield Wednesday FC - My team

Sheffield Wednesday Football Club. Established in 1867. My team!

So many people all over the world share the same feeling of pride when they talk about their football club. When we walk or drive past our ground we get a buzz of excitement and memories of delirious times flood back to us. Obviously there are bad times for every club, nobody likes to lose, especially at home, but whenever I drive past Hillsborough I get memories of a 3-2 late win vs Manchester United with Jemmo scoring twice after going behind 1-2, a 3-1 win vs Sheffield United when crowd favourite and former hod carrier Andy Pearce with his long blonde hair scored a header to make it 2-0 and really get the party going and a 2-1 home win vs Blackburn when goals from Hirst and Bright sent us to Wembley for 1 of 4 visits that season. Not forgetting of course the win at Wembley vs Manchester United in our promotion season back to the top flight in '91. They were good times and probably the best times for Sheffield Wednesday. I'm grateful that I was there to witness them.

Luckily for me I've never actually been at the ground to witness the darker times. 2000 for example when we were relegated from the Premier League after almost 10 years back in the top flight, then shortly after we were relegated again to League 1, to go back up to the Championship only to be relegated AGAIN! Things were bad behind the scenes too as the club struggled financially under bad direction and we very nearly went into admin like many other clubs in our position. 

During these years I was out of Sheffield at college, living in Blackpool from 95 to 98, then a few months in Canada, back to England and off to Chippenham and then Bristol until 2002 when I eventually moved back to Sheffield. After a few more years financially treading water, changing jobs, retraining and having to prioritise, maybe only getting to 1-2 games a season as a treat I've finally got some sort of stability going on which means I can afford a season ticket. Well thanks to Zebra Finance I can anyway. I've always been crap at saving up and direct debit is such a blessing at times! Cheers Wednesday. ;)

For me that piece of plastic means enjoyment every other weekend from August to May when I get to go watch my team with a 20,000 - 30,000 strong family of Wednesdayites while we chant and shout and cheer (hopefully) the lads on to another gloriously victorious finale! Well we can dream can't we, it is Wednesday after all and most fans will agree we rarely do it the easy way! ;-)

Out of the ground in these modern times there's social media by way of Twitter where hundreds of us keep each other well informed of the latest goings on down at SWFC and have a good laugh along the way. Match time on Twitter is almost as exciting as the game itself for fans who cant attend and when a goal is scored your timeline explodes with the euphoria of a few hundred Owls fans registering their joy. It's a right buzz and I love it!

I also enjoy a natter with fans from other clubs. Some fans like to have a bit of a banter, sometimes it goes beyond and turns into a proper argument but for me I just like to chat. I don't see the point in being nasty, we're all out to enjoy the footy and it doesn't hurt to be nice. I've gathered a few nice followers from other clubs such as Nottingham Forest, Huddersfield Town, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Norwich City, Manchester City and Aston Villa, my father's team and club of the crazy but lovely @villabitch001. 

Every club has a well known fan or two, ours is known as Tango. So named after a large bald shirtless character with a large tummy used in a commercial in the 90s to advertise Tango orange pop. He's easily recognisable as the only Wednesday fan crazy enough to remove his shirt on a cold rainy Winter's night and stand singing his heart out for the lads as the Wednesdayites chant "TANGO! TANGO! TANGO!" That's a real fan!

Of course it's all a bit daft really but that's part of the fun. We're all there to have a laugh and enjoy it as best we can and if it means singing silly songs, acting a bit mad then we'll do it for the laugh. In my opinion, and some may disagree, it takes proper fans to stay and sing the team on when things aren't going too well, you're losing 0-3 at home in a cup game to Blackpool and the Kop starts a chorus of "You can stick yer f**king donkeys up yer arse!". Yeh it's a bit profane but that's life in the stands as a football fan. It's more fun to have a bit of a silly sing song than getting the mardy bums on and walking out in a mood when the 2nd goal goes in. We can't win every game. During our bad run last season we lost 1-4 at home to Watford on my birthday but still managed a few choruses of "Always look on the bright side of life." I smiled, what else can you do. :)

Last season was all about survival and as usual we did it the hard way, right down to the final game of the season. It was a hard season after the fantastic events of the previous year when we switched managers in March and went undefeated to the final game, skipping past a stuttering Sheffield United to claim 2nd place with 1 game to go and then push full steam ahead past an already relegated Wycombe, winning 2-0 and roared to promotion by a 38,000 capacity crowd. It was a stunning finish to the season and I've never seen so many Owls fans at Hillsborough. Wycombe weren't bringing many so were given the north west corner and the entire away stand was packed with home fans. What a day!

The undefeated run continued into the following season through August and we looked to be doing ok but then we suffered our first loss under Dave Jones vs Crystal Palace away and over a period  of 5 losses in a row we dropped from 2nd place to the bottom 5. A couple of wins and then another 7 match losing run before Christmas and things didn't look too good at all. Luckily our form showed a bit of life and with the help of new first team coach Stuart Gray and a few helpful loan signings we stopped the rot and started to put some good results on the board. A few more ups and downs followed and an away win at Leeds would've all but sealed safety but it wasn't to be so once again it went to the last game as it so often does at Sheffield Wednesday.

We lost our star wing man and summer signing Michail Antonio to a popped groin in April so it was down to our intermittent fan favourite JJ to deliver the goods. He was clearly up for it and despite carrying an end of season injury he terrorised the Middlesbrough defence throughout the first half and we finished the half 2-0 up.

The midfield and defence took care of the rest of the game as JJ ended his season at 45 minutes and we now go into next season with renewed hope that we can at least finish top half. We shall see of course, anything is possible with Wednesday but our summer signing activity has just picked up and it's looking positive. By the time August comes along we'll be ready....I hope. Theres a lot of very bored footy fans on Twitter at the moment. Every Saturday brings tweets of 'So boring without football' and 'Come on August hurry up!' so everybody will be raring to go at that first game. We're away at newly relegated QPR so it'll be a tough one, there are no easy games in this league so we'll have to make sure we're fit and firing. Up the Owls an all that. ;)

Religion, atheism, agnosticism, ism ism ism

Where do I start on this one? The most common response to a religious discussion is probably 'don't start!' and quite understandably so considering all the bad press it gets. I'm going to have a go anyway, lets hope it makes sense on screen because in my head it's still a bit of a jumble sale so this could take time. Apologies if I ramble. :)

For a few years now I've considered myself atheist. Turns out I'm not atheist, I'm more agnostic...I think. I don't believe in a god as such but I do believe in existence beyond death and I'm really interested in mediums and clairvoyants who claim to be able to contact this spiritual 'other side'. A few things I've been told by these people has rung true and they seem to know things about random people that they couldn't possibly know. It interests me. Does this make me a spiritualist or just a mixed up, gullible weirdo? Granted I can be quite gullible at times but label me how you like, I'm still figuring it out. :)

I've been following some of the atheist accounts on Twitter lately and while intelligent and sometimes very witty I do feel they often bully and victimise some of the more religious Twitter users, generally the Christian lot. They'd probably say they deserve the abuse for trying to indoctrinate people but isn't that what they're also trying to do? If its not physically hurting anyone then whats the problem? If I don't like what I read on Twitter I just block the account so I don't have to see it. Isn't that what many kids are told in school about people who annoy them? Ignore them and they'll get bored and go away. To be honest all the arguing back & forth between the theists and atheists has bored me and made me question a few things.

I've never been a fan of religion but as I've got older I've started to come around to the idiom of 'live & let live'. Life is too short to stay angry all the time and as long as they don't come banging on my door like your average annoying Jovie then they can do what they like provided they're not hurting anyone. The majority of religions that I know of seem to be very much 'we're here if you need us' and that's fine by me. I may go for a wander around out of curiosity from time to time but I don't believe for second that I'll somehow be instantly brainwashed or psychologically seized by some unseen deity the moment I step through the door of the church, mosque or wherever. 

I've seen plenty of churches in my short time and they never cease to impress me but only from an architectural and historical perspective. I love the history, the work, attention to detail and often the sheer size of the buildings simply astound me. Luckily I'm level headed enough to realise that no matter how impressive the artwork, the structure and the scale of everything that it was still built by men, not gods, and I'm not about the fall to my knees, shout hallelujah and claim to have received my 'calling'. Its just a big beautiful building, calm down. ;) I'm rambling now. Slight change of subject.

Being born a CofE Christian, christened and sent to a CofE primary school we had a lot of bible stuff chucked our way. Assembly most mornings involved a bible song, a speech by the head teacher Mr Crookes and often an Old Testament bible story such as Joseph & his Dreamcoat, Samson & Delilah, The Good Samaritan or David & Goliath. Mr Crookes always made them so interesting and often used to pull kids out of his audience to act as characters in the story while he told it. He was a great teacher, very strict when he had to be and a lovely guy. :) 

The school worked very closely with the local church, St James's at Norton, and we were all well known to the vicar Mr Williams, another nice chap. The choir master whose name I forget was a bit of an odd one and although I was in the school choir and had a go in the church choir I was never really into it. I was nearing the end of my time at Norton school and I'd outgrown Cub Scouts who also dealt with the church a lot so I allowed myself to drift apart from it all. It was never for me anyway and I welcomed the break from it! The first time I had any dealings with the church after then was a secondary school local history project where we were taught to recognise structural changes through the ages, different styles of architecture and how to tell which parts of the church were older than the other. That's when I started to really appreciate the beauty of buildings like that and it's stayed with me since.

I never really had any dealings with Islam in my school years. I don't remember any Muslims in my school, we covered Islam briefly in RE but if I'm honest I think the first time Islam was really brought to my attention, apart from random bits on the TV news like the death of Ayatollah Khomeni and the scandal when Salman Rushdie wrote 'The Satanic Verses' was when 9/11 happened. It brought Islam into the spotlight in such a negative manner and many started to view Muslims as terrorists. 7/7 served to fan the flames, damaged Islam further and it was too easy to get swept up in the media storm as it was everywhere you looked. How could people believe Islam was the religion of peace that it claimed to be? Then the war with the Taliban started, then Iraq and we're still in Afghanistan. Did religion start it all or is that just an excuse?

We have a very large and growing Muslim community where I live in Sheffield and in my job as a council gas man I come into contact with them a lot in their own houses. They're just people the same as everyone else. I've only once been in a house where I've been asked to take some religious literature home with me to read, which I politely refused, and she wasn't offended or angry about it. When I'm working in someone's house I'm respectful of their property. Obviously some houses are tidier than others and on rare occasions you really wouldn't want to even step through the door due to the mess or the smell but it's definitely not race or religion specific as to how tidy or hygienic a person is. I've been in some beautiful houses lived in by Muslims and they're generally very hospitable the same as most other people in this city.

When the awful events with Lee Rigby happened those few weeks ago and the aftermath with the moronic actions of the EDL it made me a little ashamed to be English at times. I don't want to be associated with a group of drunken idiots, giving nazi salutes and generally creating public disorder. I do wonder if for many of them its a chance of day out away from Jeremy Kyle, a few drinks and maybe a scrap. Pretty pathetic! I'm not overly keen on the UAF lot either to be honest. At the core I think both have certain valid points but on the fringes their followers do them no favours when they're throwing missiles and chanting slogans in the streets. Take a stand? I say sit down and talk, don't shout. Just my opinion. :)

It was soon clear even to me that the psychotic scum that murdered that poor off-duty soldier did not represent the majority of Islam and are part of another deranged extremist sect. Thankfully certain Islamic leaders have since condemned their actions as not representative of what Islam is about. The EDL obviously have their own blinkered 'send them home' message but how do you send someone home who was born here and whose parents were also born here? 

Personally all these EDL vs UAF events have served to do is make me more curious to find out about Islam for myself. I know very little about it, the media tend to exaggerate and twist the truth so I'll be doing my own research. Certain parts of 'holy scripture' that gets brought to the surface in both the Bible and the Quran contain verses that condone violence, slavery and other atrocities in certain circumstances but a rational person using common sense can see that it was indicative of the time it was written and modern society isn't anywhere near as barbaric, at least it shouldn't be. The deranged extremists that attempt to carry out these atrocities in modern day society are simply using the religion as their personal excuse to murder and create fear, the same as any other crazed fool with a screw loose. Unfortunately using the religion gives them a large audience and they know that.

The central message from both books is a peaceful one from what I can gather. I've heard a few positive stories in the news lately about Christians and Muslims working together in the community to help those in need. The story I heard about where the Imam invited some EDL members to halt their protest and come into the mosque for a cup of tea and a chat made me smile. 

There doesn't have to be so much hate, we can all get along doing our own thing. We don't all have to believe the same things and we can live among each other without feeling the need to force the other to live our way. Isn't that what multiculturalism is about? Sheffield is a multicultural city. It's how it's evolved and it's not going to go back. Let it be and just be nice and friendly to each other. :)

Hay fever

Seriously, what sick and twisted mind thought this up? I'm taking an hour out of my work day to try and recover from 2 bloody horrible machine-gun sneezing attacks before I go back out there and attempt to brave the elements once again. Cheers Ma Nature! In many forms but are beautiful but in this one you're a tosser and I hope Father Time gives you wrinkles on your arse!

Yup, that's me at this moment. Sniffing like a curious dog and eyes running like a tap. I shouldn't even mention the itchy eyes.....but I will anyway! The trick is not to rub them as it only makes things WORSE! That's the other part of the joke. If something itches you usually scratch or rub it to get rid of the itch. Hay fever decided to ignore this fundamental rule and instead make your eyes swell up to golf ball size & stream constantly at the mere hint of a rub. Cheers again Ma Nature, you're still a tosser!

I'm actually amazed I've managed to type this much without sneezing once, although my nose is still blocked & running constantly so I'm dabbing between sentences. Isn't snot lovely! Bogies are ok. You can deal with those. An accomplished nose picker of 37 years like myself can easily unpack his trunk successfully should the need arise but once again hay fever decides to do it differently. Instead of providing the standard gooey cornflakes that your average cold would supply, hay fever effectively liquidates any and all resident nose goblins and they course down your nose at a surprising pace. This is especially annoying while talking to strangers when you're trying to be professional and a clear slimy river sudden appears on your top lip bound for your chin. Delightful! Lucky for me I have a tache and beard at the moment eh? The all conquering nose-dam! The bastard will never get through that. ;)

Anyway, I'm off to get my evening jobs out the way and hope to any avoid further uncomfortable snot explosions on my travels. Wish me luck yeh? Ta.