Hay fever

Seriously, what sick and twisted mind thought this up? I'm taking an hour out of my work day to try and recover from 2 bloody horrible machine-gun sneezing attacks before I go back out there and attempt to brave the elements once again. Cheers Ma Nature! In many forms but are beautiful but in this one you're a tosser and I hope Father Time gives you wrinkles on your arse!

Yup, that's me at this moment. Sniffing like a curious dog and eyes running like a tap. I shouldn't even mention the itchy eyes.....but I will anyway! The trick is not to rub them as it only makes things WORSE! That's the other part of the joke. If something itches you usually scratch or rub it to get rid of the itch. Hay fever decided to ignore this fundamental rule and instead make your eyes swell up to golf ball size & stream constantly at the mere hint of a rub. Cheers again Ma Nature, you're still a tosser!

I'm actually amazed I've managed to type this much without sneezing once, although my nose is still blocked & running constantly so I'm dabbing between sentences. Isn't snot lovely! Bogies are ok. You can deal with those. An accomplished nose picker of 37 years like myself can easily unpack his trunk successfully should the need arise but once again hay fever decides to do it differently. Instead of providing the standard gooey cornflakes that your average cold would supply, hay fever effectively liquidates any and all resident nose goblins and they course down your nose at a surprising pace. This is especially annoying while talking to strangers when you're trying to be professional and a clear slimy river sudden appears on your top lip bound for your chin. Delightful! Lucky for me I have a tache and beard at the moment eh? The all conquering nose-dam! The bastard will never get through that. ;)

Anyway, I'm off to get my evening jobs out the way and hope to any avoid further uncomfortable snot explosions on my travels. Wish me luck yeh? Ta.